Tuesday 24th March, 2020.
So I thought I should write something. A ‘blog’ some people call it. Although I have no idea what makes it a blog. Is it just another way of saying an online diary? My mother has hand written a diary each day for most of her life but I have never seen it. Is it filled with dystopian ideas, anarchy, poetry or like this blog, simple musings on what is going on in a single life on this planet in the middle of a universe that may or may not be expanding or slowing down depending on who you listen to?
Well – that sentence seemed to get away from me. Freeform – is that the word?
Anyway – my blog – a few thoughts or ideas on what direction it may go in:
I will probably stay away from politics, coronavirus debates, knitting patterns, erotica and conceptual theories on literature, quantum physics and/or forestry.
I think I will probably just stick with musing on my naval but I will also withhold the right to backtrack, explode with frustration and ask stupid questions.
I’m in Nottingham at the moment and the idea for this random throwing up of words, seemed to solidify while I was climbing a 101 storey building this morning. Now I am currently only living in a 5 storey building so I was actually just going up and down (no lift – before anyone questions my new found desire to sound energetic) the same stairwell 20 times.
During that time (and it took probably over 30 minutes) I didn’t pass a single person. I didn’t touch the handrail, which considering how wobbly my legs were as I was approaching the 20th time was quite an achievement. I saw a few people outside having a cigarette and I heard the lift go up and down about twice on the other side of the stairwell wall. So obviously, I was limited to conversation with myself. Does a conversation exist if it is in your head and you only have one personality?
But I was aware that:
a) I could see the sun outside and the blue sky. And there is something rather uplifting about being able to feel the sun’s rays and see a clear blue sky. It felt good and added a little to my level of happiness. Is there a reason why a blue sky is more enjoyable than a grey one?
b) I was not appropriately dressed for walking up and down stairs a lot. I started climbing after getting back from the supermarket. I had jeans and a long sweater on. By about storey 50, I was beginning to get a sweat on. It reminded me that a long time ago in a far off century I used to dance. I trained at Ballet Rambert and like every other dancer, you end up spending many hours a day doing class, rehearsing and performing. I soon realised back in my 20’s that I would start sweating a few minutes before class. I was told this was because my body was so used to doing class and working out, that it was capable of knowing when you were going to start dancing and it would ignite it’s natural air conditioning system in advance. Beginning the cooling process early to get a head start. The body is an amazing thing.
i) This could be rubbish and perhaps I was just a sweaty person.
ii) In the 30 years since training, I have noticed that my body does not jump into action in advance anymore. It takes a while before it realises what is going on and then tends to go WTF! and pulls a muscle as a subtle way of going, ‘now don’t start all that again. Sit down and contemplate your naval like a good little boy!’
iii) I then clocked that I had been wearing one of my favourite long sleeve tops and now it would need a wash. Like the moment when you put on your favourite shirt or dress ready for a day looking amazing and two seconds later as you are eating your breakfast – you spill a dollop of soft boiled egg yolk down it. Is that life going – eat breakfast naked? Or is that the reason why posh people used to change for every meal?
c) Endorphins. Somewhere around the time when I noticed that a sweat was breaking out, I also started to feel a little bit more positive. I’ve been rehearsing a show for the last 2 months so I have not been working out at all. I’d forgotten that even a little bit of exercise can help with your mood. I had my first shot of endorphins for a long time. I can already feel my body saying – ‘you are going to do that again tomorrow’. I think I should listen to my body on that one. (Though I promise that I will probably not throw more of these musing at you from a second bout of step climbing. I think people can only take so much bollocks)
A final thought for today:
I went out today to get some food. Marco and I have been trying not to panic buy so we were down to our last courgette. What was a pleasant surprise, was that Sainsbury and Lidl were pleasantly calm. There was food on the shelves, people were social distancing and the staff seemed even more friendly than normal. A big thank you to all those people who are still going to work to keep us alive and to feed us.
Time to get back to work. Happy home’ing!